


Remember Me

by ReturnToZero



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: F/M, Imma leave it here to die, M/M, Pre-game OumaSai, Shuichi-centric, idk what the fuck this is, ouma-centric, oumasai
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-22 22:33:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13176588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReturnToZero/pseuds/ReturnToZero
Summary: Shuichi and the other survivors manage to go out into the real world, suddenly alone in a strange and very unfamiliar place. Despite wanting to make their new lives as their new characters they can’t help but be haunted by who they used to be.





	1. Begin Again

It’s been a little strange since they left the game.

 

Being back in such an unfamiliar world makes them all scared for the first few weeks. People still recognize them on the street, but it’s not awful. At least, once they figure out how to deflect the attention and ask for their privacy once more. The fans understand, they knew this was how it was going to be with the ending they made for themselves. ( _ It still creeps out Shuichi to see how many fans have such glazed looks in their eyes when reminiscing about the now dead franchise. He wonders if he used to look like that before the game. _ )

 

They were able to raise money on a funding page since they really had nowhere else to go, and got at least a small apartment for the three of them to share. They all got jobs and even if they didn’t have talents before they sure did now, somehow the killing game did change them to posses the talents assigned to them. So it was fairly easy for them to find jobs, they were now Ultimates.

 

And seeing as Shuichi has blown through cases left and right he knew he couldn’t keep doing keeping his head down.

 

Not when his friends had given up their lives to give them new purpose.    
  


At first Shuichi was more than happy to immerse himself into his new life; happy to fully embrace whoever Shuichi Saihara was. It was all he knew afterall, the person he became and felt so dearly for. His friends were friends of Shuichi Saihara, not of his past self. And that was fine, it wasn’t worth going back anyways- 

 

They had already lost and gained a new life.

 

He sighed, slumped in his private office in the nearby police station. Thankfully the head chief of the police station was kind enough to give Shuichi his own private space, and was more than happy to treat him like an asset to their team. (Not just as some character on a screen that had come to life.) 

 

But when his boss comes in at 8am Suichi smiles, ready to greet the chief with their usual greeting; He doesn’t realize his paradigm would be challenged-

 

“Hey...Saihara?” the elder man started, and Shuichi swore he had never seen his boss look so tense.

 

“Yes Chief Tanaka?”, Shuichi was a bit off put by his superior, wondering if something particularly awful was about to come. 

 

It takes a moment for the chief to relax a bit, staring down at a papers in his hands.

 

“There’s something important has come up,” the man with silver hair struggles to find words, “It involves the DanganRonpa franchise.”

 

Shuichi stiffens a bit, wasn’t the whole DanganRonpa Team sent to prison after their escape? His boss sighs, “You don’t have to take this if you don’t want to. I’m sure the police can handle this without you needing to see this, but I thought I would give you the chance to choose.”

 

Shuichi stares at the paper across from him, he still can’t see what the other side is but the crisp white papers has a glossiness to it that tips him off to it being a photo.

 

His heart begins to clench in his chest, his stomach churning and twisting with the rising pressure of the situation-

 

The chief shakes his head, heading to the door, still keeping the pictures out of sight. 

 

“Let me warn you Saihara, it isn’t pretty. It’ll most likely dig up that past you buried before. It’ll make you see what you were missing before, so think about it.” he warns as concern drips into every syllable.

 

Shuichi can only stare at his boss, completely speechless.

 

The older man shakes his head, “Don’t make a hasty decision, just because you don’t have your past doesn’t mean you have to break yourself just to find out.” 

 

Shuichi nods, still unable to form words. Here they all thought the past was gone forever, but it seems like it’s harder to completely erase people than he initially thought.

 

Maki notices his change in demeanor when they all eat dinner that night, and waits until Himiko has gone to sleep before joining Shuichi in his room.

 

Shuichi sighs, she doesn’t even have to say anything and he already knows she wants to know what’s up, “At the station, the chief got a case about us.”

 

“What do you mean?” she hastily butts in, a bit surprised and worried at his statement-

 

“I don’t know the exact details but the chief said if I was interested on investigating. It might bring back something about our old lives before the game.”

 

Maki stares at him with her blood red eyes, “Don’t.”

 

Shuichi cringes, “But Maki, this is different. I’m not trying to go back. I’m just trying to understand.”

 

She makes a face of disapproval but sighs, “Yeah, I know. But it’s just- I don’t think it’s all that important to go back. So what if we don’t remember before the game? We have the memories we made in the school.”

 

Shuichi can tell she’s scared of meeting the real Kaito, the one who was rearing to kill all his classmates, “Don’t worry. I don’t think it’ll be like that. There has to be a reason, I mean we did try and volunteer for the killing game. I just want to know why.”

 

She turns from him, “I wouldn’t go back. I’m happy with this conclusion. We beat Team DanganRonpa. We got out. We are doing our best to live on for our friends.”

 

Shuichi nods, but is surprised when she suddenly turns back to him and gives him a tight hug, “Just don’t get hurt, ok? I don’t intend on losing you because of this.”

 

The detective smiles and returns the hug, “I’ll be fine. I won’t do anything dangerous, ok?”

 

She nods and bids him a goodnight leaving him to his own thoughts.

 

Shuichi goes to sleep that night wondering about their efforts. Yes, they had exposed Team DanganRonpa for being a fucked up organization that was truly setting up pointless killing games just for entertainment, but was it really ok to bury the past? They used to be people before the show, with families and friends. They were lured into a game that they didn’t realize had actual life-ending consequences to it. Was it really too late to go back to life before the game?

 

Shuichi felt his body ache like he did during the despair game, all willingness to move or exist slowly draining from his body. The despair seemed to be in every red blood cell in his body, pumping through his veins and slicing them open with invisible knives- 

 

Worst of all, he couldn’t even fight it. He could only wallow in his despair. Sulk in the tragedy of it all and wonder, why was his past self so delusional? So stupid that he would try and enter a shady game simply for some fame and to feel closer to the material? Was that really all that led to here?

 

His mind swirled with too many thoughts all through the night, but he never lost consciousness. Even as his eyes grew heavy and puffy with tears he wouldn’t succumb to sleep. He achingly watched the stars slowly move to make way for the sun-

 

Finally his mind drew to a new unselfish truth-

 

What was everyone else like? What drew them to try and enter DanganRonpa? Would they be able to still be friends before the game?

 

He had to know. Shuichi couldn’t help but wonder why all of them were so easily pulled from their original lives-

 

Shuichi swore he would do his best to find out their lives from before. 

It takes Shuichi a couple of times before he’s able to get the nerve to actually go tell the chief about his choice. He ends up going in on one of his off days, pacing back and forth in front of the police station. Everytime he approaches the wooden doors he can’t help but doubt himself- was it really ok to dig into the past? He didn’t have to ruin himself for this, he was Shuichi Saihara now and this felt like he was just opening pandora’s box. 

 

But he couldn’t rip himself from finding out the truth.    
  
He wanted to know why they all came into DanganRonpa.

 

Shuichi enters and heads straight for the chief’s office, trying to maintain the confidence he gained from his friends.

 

The chief nods, “Just, if it gets to be too much you can step away from it. I don’t want to torture yourself with something you can’t change.”

 

Shuichi nods, knowing well how the past can hurt him into a despair-coma. 

 

The chief pulls out the file, which has now considerably widened, “It started with the fans to be honest. The legal system was more than happy to let the case die. We’ve persecuted DanganRonpa Team, we’ve tried to help the survivors and honor the dead. But there are fans who are wanting more.”

 

Shuichi freezes as dread sets into his belly, “More?”

 

“More information. They want your real backstories, especially now that they know y’all weren’t just paid volunteers on a tv show. They say it isn’t fair for you to go into the game and unintentionally surrendering your life. Especially since the first episode made it seem like y’all were just getting into your roles. But then they made a point to appeal to the mass public, to those who don’t even know or watch the show. Now everyone wants to know why we aren’t finding the victim’s pasts and giving peace to those families that have lost.”

 

The chief hands him a photo, his brows furrowed, “Someone came forward and asked us to try and confirm if this was one of the victims of the show. We used facial recognition technology and it’s an 83% match.”

 

Shuichi takes the photo and his stomach churns at the sight of it.   
  
It hurts more since it’s such a nice photo. 

 

The boy in the picture is different than the boy he knew, his posture a bit shy and his eyes kind. He has a small smile for the photo, which is funny since he’s posing with a huge trophy in his hands. The damned trophy was almost as big as him yes he didn’t seem too phased by the victory. As he inspects closer he can tell that the trophy says, “National Junior High Chess Champion 2015”.

 

He finally tears his eyes away when the chief hands him the second photo, slightly confused as to why he handed it to him face down. 

 

The chief keeps his hand on top of Shuichi’s, preventing him from flipping it over, “Hey, are you sure this is ok? That I can show this to you?”

 

Shuichi can tell he’s referring to the tears that are starting to build in his eyes and he nods, furiously blinking them away, “Yeah. I need to know. I want to know.”

 

The chief sighs and finally lets him go, “Shuichi...they asked me-They want to know if you may possibly know anything about him joining the game. Or if you could backtrack…”

 

Shuichi frowns as he’s finally free, flipping the photo-

 

Kokichi’s there again but it’s different.

 

Clearly this photo is a bit older, since Kokichi somehow has an even rounder and more childlike appearance in this one. If he were to guess, maybe the photos are a year apart? He’s hugging another person, with the brightest smile he’s ever seen in his life. They wear matching black mouse ears, with fireworks going off in the back. Kokichi looks like the kid he was supposed to be, enjoying his peaceful life. The border is labelled in sharpie-

 

**_Tokyo Disneyland - 06/21/2014_ **

 

The more he stares at the picture the more fake it feels.

 

“They want to know if the participants have any relationships before the game, like how you and Kokichi did.”


	2. Audition Tapes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi begins reviewing the audition tapes and sees the truth for himself.
> 
> Things are starting to make a bit too much sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAA Thanks so much for all the support y'all! I really didn't think this was going to be as popular as it is, so I will do my best to write something good for y'all! And sorry about not replying, I started to and then got sidetracked since I am currently spending the winter with my family.
> 
> Also if you are feeling brave feel free to come chat with me on [tumblr](letmeshipinpeace.tumblr.com).

It takes a few days before Shuichi is able to pick up the case again.

 

The chief is understanding, especially since that photo was pretty damning in their evidence about Kokichi’s past. Shuichi still works on other cases, fills out monotonous paperwork and tries to calm down a bit. It was never good when his emotions kept him from solving a case, but he knew bottling them up would do him no good.

 

The next time he returns to the chief he starts off with some of his other classmates, who left before he could really gain a strong bond-

 

_Case File: Rantarou Amami_

_Talent(s): Ultimate Adventurer, Ultimate Survivor, Ultimate ???_

_Participation in the Show:_

_Rantarou Amami is introduced in DanganRonpa: Your Favorite Killing Game (Season 52). He is one of the main protagonists of the season, but they are unable to deduce the mastermind within the allotted time frame of 6 Chapters. The final three must make a bargain in order to appease the mastermind- Only one of them can leave the game alive. No trial, nothing else, it is simply a betrayal game. He ends up winning by using defensive methods such as hiding rather than being an aggressive player._

 

_He becomes the Ultimate Survivor and is given a Survivor Perk from being the sole survivor of the last season and becomes the first victim of DanganRonpa: Killing Harmony (Season 53)._

 

_Past Life:_

_Rantarou Amami lived with his family in the countryside. They had a tense relationship but it grew to a stop when Rantarou leaves behind a letter for them and disappears. They assumed he ran away initially and due to living in a rural area they had no access to television or interest in DanganRonpa. It is unclear how Rantarou got exposed to and recruited for the show. The last information they gave was that he had a girlfriend that he dearly loved, they were a year apart and met at school.The family refuses to disclose any other information._

 

_When investigating the school we found-_

 

The chief startles him from the report, as he enters the room with a large box and another officer follows him with a cart full of smaller ones. (They’re all stacked to the point where Shuichi thinks it is kinda reckless.)

 

“Sorry about that kiddo. The Public Service Intelligence Agency finally gave me clearance on this stuff, so put that down and help me sort through it.”

Shuichi nods, making space on the desk and letting the older man set down the box. It’s filled with videotapes. They are all labeled with tape-

 

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 154 (Ultimate Detective)_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 4556_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 9961 (Ultimate Pianist)_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 7793_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 7230 (Ultimate Tennis Player)_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 100 (Ultimate Anthropologist)_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition  5411_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 225978 (Ultimate Astronaut)_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 2009 (Ultimate Liar)_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 19952 (Ultimate Artist)_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 100201 (Ultimate Maid)_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 100001_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 5589_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 2470_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 66678 (Ultimate Aikido Master)_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 100081 (Ultimate Magician)_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 99731_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 55791_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 75926_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 5_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 29 (Ultimate Robot)_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 99554 (Ultimate Inventor)_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 44782_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 67 (Ultimate Entomologist)_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 566_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 489_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 335_ **

**_DanganRonpa Harmony Audition 1159 (Ultimate Assassin)_ **

  


“So the audition tapes were real.” he’s feeling a bit woozy but he knows that they’re eventually going to have to go through them.

 

The chief looks at him, “Oh yeah, you probably don’t remember the development of the season you were in, huh?”

 

Shuichi shakes his head and the chief frowns, “You might want to sit down for this.”

 

The Ultimate Detective does, bracing himself for the horror-

 

“They asked for normal people to audition like it was a regular gig, they even had locations to perform the audition in every major city. The Team claimed they would take care of all expenses and you’d get to be in the game as a character. Said it was mainly so that the game would feel authentic and not be so reliant on the same actors over and over. It was rumored that they got over 100,000 auditions and then narrowed it down to about 50 possible players. It probably took them awhile to get through all of the videos. We all saw your confusion when you were finally chosen, and then that was episode 1.”

 

Shuichi’s hands shake the whole time, and he grips the handrests of the chair in a pathetic attempt to dispel some of his animosity.

 

The chief notices and gives him a squeeze on the shoulder, “Yeah, it’s sick. Apparently, this was Tsumugi’s idea. She was one of the main writers of this season and wanted to be meta as fuck when she threw that ending at you guys.”

 

Shuichi starts to only dig out the ones labeled with talents, only grabbing 14 tapes. He assumes that Tsumugi and Rantarou didn’t need auditions since it was pretty much guaranteed that they would be filling the last two spots.

 

He decides to start with Kaede’s, since he remembers how Tsumugi intended to user her audition as ammunition in their last trial.

 

The same screen comes up that he’s seen before, showing her in her school uniform and staring up into the camera. There’s only her voice now, as she introduces herself to the interviewers. She speaks as if she has already prepared a prompt preemptively-

 

 _“Ever since my boyfriend_ _X O □ ∆X O □ ∆X O □ ∆ entered the game I’ve been watching DanganRonpa. I knew it was him on screen, that he would win it all and come home to me. But he hasn’t come home- and I am starting to think he has abandoned me.”_

 

Shuichi cringes as she says all this with that same haunting smile, her words are a juxtaposition to her face. He hates it, hates that she feels this way. It’s clear that she’s had a hard life-

 

_“I just want to be with him again. I’d do anything to see him once more. I’d even kill him myself, I just want to be able to grab that little bit of happiness just one last time.”_

 

He sighs, his hands wringing together painfully as he tries to hold back tears.  
  
Shuichi hates the agony of it all, he never expected Team DanganRonpa to even throw despair onto themselves, since there was no way that anyone else was going to see these audition tapes in full.

 

_“I’m perfect for a killing game. I don’t have any faith in humanity.”_

 

Shuichi sighs, it all makes sense now. That Kaede is able to enter the game, and why they want to kill her and Rantarou off immediately. Tsumugi seemed to enjoy making their lives as despairingly as possible, supposedly online they do give her props for being able to really pull at everyone’s heartstrings. And it explains how when Rantarou was painting Kaede’s nails, at the very beginning of the show-

 

Tsumugi must not have written that in; She was miffed that they were falling in love again. So she used Kaede’s plan to kill two birds with one stone, both literally and figuratively.

 

Shuichi continues to sort through the audition tapes, so far they all volunteered to be killers. They wanted to participate so that their bodies could be used as a stepping stone for DanganRonpa to continue forwards. His heart breaks over and over, and he sometimes has to take breaks in order to get himself just together enough to watch the next one. The Chief helps him sort through the videos, and Shuichi cringes when Kokichi’s audition ends up in his pile.

 

He knows it’s not a mistake since he knows the chief has been avoiding that tape for a while now.  
  
“I’ll leave that to you. Maybe it’ll help you remember him.” he solemnly states, standing up and towering over Shuichi’s crouched form.  
  
Shuichi simply nods, “Well, I’ll be in the other room, so just come and find me if you need anything.”

 

Shuichi watches as the chief leaves, closing the door and leaving him alone in the office once more, surrounded by all the leftovers of Team DanganRonpa’s office.

 

He takes a deep breath, he promised he would do this for his friends, to honor them properly-

 

_So he puts in the last tape and waits for the **biggest heartbreak** yet. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the little detour, this little bit also is the reason why the Kaede/Rantarou tag is in the story. I hope you enjoyed and let me tell you, the next part is going to be a real kicker.
> 
> Comment and send kudos if you're eager to see more!
> 
>  
> 
> **Extra note: I have also decided to try and start honing my writing skills a bit more so I will be opening drabble requests on my[tumblr.](letmeshipinpeace.tumblr.com) So if you're interested you can either shoot me an ask with a prompt idea or use the list that I have also provided [here.](http://letmeshipinpeace.tumblr.com/post/169056464501/oumasai-drabble-prompt-list) **
> 
>  
> 
> **I'll try to limit to working on only 3 drabbles at a time so if you're really interested then be quick!**


	3. Rewind, Rewind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monokuro Boo phone charms are cute.
> 
> Especially when they are in a matching set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thanks again for your continued support, it really does help. I want to apologize in advance if this chapter has any errors in it, my brain isn't 100% here since I haven't been sleeping well, so I'm really sorry about that. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter anyways though.

“Hey...Promise me you won’t forget me at your new school?” he softly admits, already hating how pathetic he sounds.

 

 _O X ∆ □_ turns to him and frowns, “Hey, don’t say that.”

 

There’s an uneasy silence between them. He knows that _O X ∆ □_ is god-awful with emotional situations. It isn’t his fault though, he was just born that way.  
  
“Hey, Hey, Hey- don’t cry...You’re my best friend, of course I won’t forget you.” _O X ∆ □_ offers him a rare smile and comes close to him, bringing him into his warm arms.

 

He can’t help crying, _O X ∆ □_ knows he’s such a crybaby too- but thankfully he’s gotten used to comforting him. He takes in _O X ∆ □_ ’s scent, the feeling of his larger frame against him. Once he’s able to blink the tears away he looks up at _O X ∆ □_ . Takes in how beautiful his face is and alluring his eyes are.  
  
They’re such an odd color, golden orbs that are framed with thick dark eyelashes. Everyone used to make fun of _O X ∆ □_ because of how feminine he looked when they first entered junior high. He always thought _O X ∆ □_ looked exotic, like he was just the right amount of masculine and feminine, to make a beauty that all could appreciate.  
  
_O X ∆ □_ starts to grow uncomfortable with his obvious staring and he gives him a little smile in hopes to brush off the awkwardness, “Sorry _O X ∆ □_ , I guess I just got a little carried away. I’mma miss you lots you know.”

 

He’s the first to pull away from _O X ∆ □_ , hoping that this stupid move hasn’t tipped him off yet to his hopeless attraction. It was bad enough that _O X ∆ □_ and him weren’t going to the same highschool, it would utterly _kill him_ if he knew this would be the last time they meet.

 

 _O X ∆ □_ brushes off his apology, going back to his cool demeanor once more. The taller boy checks his smartphone before beckoning him with his pale graceful fingers, “Cmon, the movie you wanna see is going to start in an hour. We can take the bus and get there early to grab a bite to eat, yeah?”

 

His mood instantly perks up, and he can’t help but smile wide for his best friend, “Can we please please please go to Sarku?! I won you in a duel three times in a row last time, and you _PROMISED_ -”

 

 _O X ∆ □_ simply laughs at his excitement, and send him another rare smile, “Yeah, that’s why we need to go now if you want to get Sarku.”

 

He flushes hard at the sudden attention, he hates how his heart flutters but he just can’t help it. He so pathetically in love with _O X ∆ □_ that even just getting a smile from him makes his day. And he’s smiled twice now!

 

 _O X ∆ □_ starts heading out of the living room, his parents don’t really like _O X ∆ □_ , but he’s been doing well in school so they allowed for him to invite his best friend over. It also helps that they had a office party to attend, so they left an hour ago leaving him some money to order pizza.

 

Thankfully he’s been saving up from all the odd jobs he’s done and now he can actually afford to go outside with _O X ∆ □_.

 

“Hey hold on I have to pee real quick.” he quickly mutters, running over to the bathroom and closing it.

 

He flips down the lid to the toilet and gets up onto it, and opens the window. He peers out to make sure the trashcans he lined up on the side of the house are still there-

 

Thankfully they are.  
  
He doesn’t really have to use the toilet, but he flushes it anyways and washes his hands briefly, just in case Shuichi finds his actions odd. He bursts back out of the bathroom and makes sure he has everything-

 

( **_Flip Phone? Check. Wallet? Check. Yu-Gi-Oh Deck? Check._ ** )

 

He smiles up at _O X ∆ □_ , and gains a weird look from it.  
  
“Last time you gave me such a hard time about cleaning up since your parents grounded you, and this is how you’re leaving the place?”

 

He simply giggles and starts pulling _O X ∆ □_ along, “Hey, don’t worry about it. I’ll fix it when I get back! Now c’mon, we can’t miss the movie!”

 

He easily follows his secret love to the bus, already feeling a bit like a bad kid since he didn’t quite tell his parents that _O X ∆ □_ was simply coming over to hang out, not take him out. He’s accumulated his fair share of white lies since he knew his family wouldn’t understand.

 

But the guilt always came after he let those lies out of his mouth, cause he knew they completely and utterly trusted him. He was so good at keeping all his convoluted lies straight that he hasn’t been caught once. ( **_Well, he figures it not only his skill at keeping his lies straight, his parents are caught up with their own thoughts and lives that they don’t really keep such a close eye on him._ ** )

 

He’s completely alone with _O X ∆ □_ now, which despite being best friends doesn’t really happen often. ( _ **Mainly because he knows that he’ll do something stupid and fuck this whole thing up.**_ ) But he takes a deep breath of the cold winter air, _this could possibly be one of the last times that he sees O X ∆ □._ He calms his beating heart and they enter the bus, quickly flashing their Student I.D.s for a free ride and taking a pair of seats.

 

It takes every ounce of his will to keep his composure.  
  
It was pathetic really, that he was getting so flustered over sitting so close. It didn’t help that he wanted _O X ∆ □_ to be comfortable and offered to take the seat towards the wall, so that _O X ∆ □_ would have space to stretch his long legs.

 

But here he was, trying to keep himself as still as possible despite the bumpy road making his knee brush against _O X ∆ □_ ’s every other moment. Shouldn’t the government be using Japan’s taxes to pave the roads nicer?! Each time they made brief contact made him feel like he was going into anaphylactic shock. He must look so disgusting, curled up and so touch-starved.

 

 _O X ∆ □_ doesn’t seem to notice though, which makes him happy. He would hate to make _O X ∆ □_ uncomfortable.

 

Their stop arrives eventually, and the pair get off at the mall. They walk together in a comfortable silence, and head straight to Sarku. As soon as they get in line to order _O X ∆ □_ starts talking-

 

“Hey what do you think is better, the beef and shrimp teriyaki or the chicken and shrimp teriyaki?”

 

He nearly has a heart attack, usually _O X ∆ □_ doesn’t usually care about his opinions but maybe today is special, “Well, I like the taste of the beef and shrimp. But if you’re worried about cost then the chicken and shrimp is cheaper, but still good.”

  
_O X ∆ □_ nods, and his expression slips into one of deep concentration. The taller boy gestures for him to go first, still probably weighing pros and cons in his head. He bites his lip, he hopes he was at least somewhat helpful. ( **_He’s a bit disappointed when O X ∆ □ ends up ordering something else entirely, more like a snack than an actual meal._ ** )

 

They find a little booth to share and dig straight into the cheap mall food. He savors the hot food before him, nearly moaning at the light sweetness covering the meat. He makes sure to alternate between tiny shrimp and beef strips, carefully rationing his steamed vegetables and white rice so he has a perfect bite each time. He glances over at _O X ∆ □_ , noticing him with an empty plate and staring directly at him. Heat travels to his face as he barely whimpers out an apology, _O X ∆ □_ simply smiles at him and waits for him to finish with his food.

 

They clean up as best they can before heading straight to the theater. He’s actually pretty excited to see the movie, it’s gotten lots of good reviews and when he saw the trailer he was actually intrigued. (It was hard for him to like anything outside of anime and Yugioh, but he thought the movie looked promising.) They buy their tickets separately, and he’s surprised when _O X ∆ □_ starts heading to the concessions stand-

 

“Hey, I want some uhm-” _O X ∆ □_ squints at the illuminated box with all the brightly colored candies screaming at him, “Sour Patch. The...watermelon ones.”

 

The cashier retrieves him a box of candy and he pays for it before heading on towards the theaters. He’s really honestly confused, “Hey, didn’t you say before that you hated those candies?”

 

 _O X ∆ □_ ’s golden eyes bore into him, with a sharpness that he wasn’t expecting. He crumples a bit, his eyes already burning with worried tears and an apology almost rolling off his tongue-

 

Suddenly his friend cuts him off, “Oh. I guess I forgot.”

 

They stand there awkwardly for a moment, him trying to blink away his welling tears and his friend avoiding looking at him.

 

 _O X ∆ □_ gently reaches out for him, taking his small hand and turning his palm upwards, and he’s now almost crying because he _loves_ _O X ∆ □_ _so much,_ ** _this feels so good he can feel it in his-_**

 

 _O X ∆ □_ puts the box of candies into his hand is quick to stuff his own back into his pockets, “Well...You’ve...You’ve said you liked them, right?”

 

It’s true, he actually loves these candies, they are literal crack for him.

 

His heart swells at the gesture, _O X ∆ □_ has always been bad with words but he speaks through actions. “Thanks.” he quietly says, trying not to get the wrong idea.

 

They go into the movie and the seats are closer together than he remembers. It takes him about thirty minutes for him to get comfortable, so that he doesn’t accidentally make a scene in front of his friend. But once he is able to relax he actually enjoys the movie.

 

He can tell a sad scene is coming up and the actors haven’t even spoken but he’s already crying, already knowing that the protagonist’s initial love interest was doing awful awful things not because he was inherently evil, but because he was trying to get them out. And now he’s on the floor, dying because of all his lies.

 

The love of his life is running off with someone else, without understanding truly why her first love was a liar. The protagonist holds her former lover in a pathetic attempt to comfort him but they were just waiting for him to die.  


_“Can I just have...One final kiss? Just to ease my heart.”_

 

The protagonist isn’t able to go through with it and the liar dies, his last breath sounding so painful and exasperated.  


He can’t help but wail at the execution, at the cruelty. ( **_What an awful way to go, being hated by the one you love most._ ** )

 

They leave the theater and _O X ∆ □_ gives him an awkward half hug, since everyone is staring at him crying like a baby. They probably think it’s _O X ∆ □_ ’s fault but in reality it’s just the movie. It caught him off guard and hurt him in such a special way. ( **_He could see himself dying like that. That is something that would happen to him._ ** )

 

“You knew all along, huh? About the plot twist?"

 

The sudden question startles him just a bit, and he nods, “Yeah, it was obvious.”

 

 _O X ∆ □_ laughs a bit, “Well, I didn’t. It was sad.”

 

 _O X ∆ □_ doesn’t cry often. He’s only ever seen him cry once in the three years he’s known him. ( **_It must be awful, being accused of murdering your foster parents and not having anyone believe you; All the while trying to live life without two of people who wanted you and took care of you._ ** )

 

 _O X ∆ □_ only cringes at painful things, it takes a lot for him to actually cry.

 

“I guess I still need to work on my sleuthing skills.” He knows it’s a lame joke but it makes him laugh hard, and _O X ∆ □_ seems proud of himself.

 

Suddenly _O X ∆ □_ ’s voice fills with admiration, “You’re always figuring out plotlines way before me though. It’s really cool, since it just shows how smart you are. Remember when we were watching Fight Club and you already figured out the plot twist before they revealed it?”

 

He’s already dying of laughter at the memory, and he can’t help but get loud, “Of course! You were so mad since I tried to tell you and you were so in denial! And your face was so good when I turned out to be right!"

 

They both laugh, walking back through the mall since the bus stop to take them home is on the other side of the mall. They are passing by an obnoxious store so full of baby pinks and glitter it is literally burning his retinas when _O X ∆ □_ suddenly stops and backtracks a bit-

 

“Hey I uhm, I need to get something real quick.”

 

He can only stare in utter confusion when _O X ∆ □_ goes in to the pandering store. He’s quick though, buying something small at the counter. He has to empty out all the coins in his pocket before the cashier finally hands him the item, but _O X ∆ □_ only stuffs it into his pocket. Immediately his heart hurts-

 

( **_He must be buying that for a girl he likes._ ** )

 

He hates the ugliness that he becomes for that moment, a wounded heart that would do anything to get that kind of attention from _O X ∆ □_ . He can’t bring himself to wish all ill will towards her though, since he knows _O X ∆ □_ wouldn’t date someone trashy or dumb-

 

 _O X ∆ □_ is on his phone before he taps him on the shoulder and starts to run, “Sorry, the bus is coming in five minutes.”

 

He startles and rushes to the bus with _O X ∆ □_ , he absolutely hates running but he knows he will be fucking skewered if he doesn’t make it home before his parents do.

 

They barely make it onto the bus and he plops himself into the nearest window seat, making sure to stick to the window in order to prevent himself from getting too hopeful again. He ignores the brush against his arm and stares out the window, admiring the lights of the mall. They grow further and further away as they leave, and he is satisfied with how their night went.

 

He grows a bit uncomfortable as he can still feel the point of contact where _O X ∆ □_ is there, but the gentle touch is now repeated jabs into his arm-

 

He turns and realizes that _O X ∆ □_ is trying to get his attention, and when he looks up at him he can see the faintest rosiness in _O X ∆ □_ ’s alabaster cheeks-

 

The other boy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pair of cellphone charms. They both consist of a plastic cell phone strap and a little square pig, one set in white and the other in black. If he remembers correctly he thinks the characters are called Monokuro Boo. He watches those beautiful pale hands pull each one from their packaging and then extend his palm, both of the charms in his hand.

 

“Take which one you want.”

 

He blinks once, then twice.

 

( **_So that charm was for me! That’s why he didn’t buy a big entree, he was making sure he had enough for everything._ ** )

 

He’s honestly shocked. _O X ∆ □_ stares at him the whole while and then his face screws into something akin to anxiousness. He starts to pull away, trying to stuff the black cellphone charm into the ripped packaging-

 

“No, wait! I’ll take it, I was just uh-”

 

“Surprised?” _O X ∆ □_ tries to smile but it comes out strange, and he can tell that _O X ∆ □_ ’s cheeks are growing redder by the minute, “I dunno. I liked them.”

 

He obviously takes the black one, since he’s never seen _O X ∆ □_ wear anything else other then black. He fishes out his clunky flip phone and immediately ties it on, smiling brightly.

 

( **_He bought you candy and a matching cellphone charm, and made sure you had a good time-_ ** )

 

He sees _O X ∆ □_ showing off his new phone charm on his phone, the white cube pig looking so adorable. He has the warmest smile on and the brightest eyes tonight-

 

“I just, thought it would be nice…” he pulls his hat down to cover his eyes, mumbling, “It kinda reminded me of us so…”

 

It takes him all of his will power of every single fucking cell in his body to not cry right then and there. The faucet in his eye is still pretty leaky though, and he can only allow his vision to go glassy.

 

“We’ll still text and stuff so don’t say stuff about us forgetting eachother, ok?”

 

He starts bawling and the other boy simply brings him close, laughing, “You really are a cry baby.”

 

They part ways at the bus stop and his plan of going through the bathroom window goes smoothly. He starts cleaning up and his parents come back from their party. He smiles and shoos them off to bed, promising he’ll have the place perfect in ten minutes.

 

Once he finally is in bed he connects his phone, admiring the little charm on his phone. It’s making it heavier than usual, but that was totally fine with him.

 

He loves _O X ∆ □_ more than anyone else, and he’s glad that he can at least keep him in his life. That’s all he really needs, just to be able to talk to him and see him every once in a while. To be able to call him his best friend and be able to have just a little corner of his heart.

 

He looks at the keychain on his phone, it's both wonderful and horrible. It's a precious gift from his beloved, but it is awful because he can't help but think of things he shouldn't. He closes his eyes to sleep, already knowing the damned night is making him too hopeful-

 

( **_Maybe one day he’ll confess that he secretly loves you too._ ** )

 

He knew that was just wishful thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and kudos if you want to see more! They really do motivate me to finish this story.

**Author's Note:**

> I hate this but I can't stop obsessing about it. FML
> 
> (If for some strange reason you want to see more I guess you could comment and I might be able to do more???)


End file.
